And every breath we drew was 'Hallelujah!'

I was supposed to write a column for this week. I came up with a few different topics that I could have used, and I even started to hash one out late last night, but after only a few paragraphs, I realized that it would probably be in my best interest not to write.

I had begun a column about the Pope's passing. I was going to title it, "Ne Habemus Papam", Latin for 'We do not have a Pope.' And I used an adapted famous line as my opener:

"The Pope is dead; long live the Pope."

A few months ago, back when it appeared the Pope was close to death (he recovered), I had an argument with a friend online about it. He's a devout Catholic, one who tries to follow the Catechism like he should. I'm much less of someone who follows the Catechism in every way. I describe myself as a militant Catholic, as the articles on my suite wall would indicate.

And I said that neither option in the Pope's health was favorable to my situations. If the Pope lived, nothing would change. If the Pope died, the likelihood was that a more conservative Pope would be elected, and my scenarios would deteriorate. So, in my cynical logic, I thought it best that His Holiness remain alive.

Yes, I know that sounds bad. I only hoped for the Pope's health because it was 'convenient' for me. And I don't know if I regret it or not.

But the Pope has now died, and my situation remains fairly unchanged. The likelihood that the Archdiocese will throw us anything, in light of what they've given St. Anselm's, is slim. And rumors swirl that the Meade-Eisner committee even went so far as to recommend that St. George close and St. Jeremiah remain, to be received by an emphatic 'No' from the Archbishop himself.

I cannot bring myself to shed a tear for the deceased Pontiff. Four years ago, I would have. But, like I wrote to my friend online, either he didn't know about the sex abuse stuff, he didn't about it, or he just didn't do anything. And every single one of those options, whichever is the truth, destroyed any sense of empathy or compassion I might have had.

If he didn't know, then the hierarchy didn't tell him. The process will have failed to act as it should, and as the leader of that process, the buck should stop with him.

If he didn't care, which I doubt, then there are bigger problems than process issues.

And if he didn't do anything, then how does that reflect on his papacy? He could combat communism but he couldn't assuage the worries and fears of an angry city? He could canonize more than 500 miracle-workers, but he couldn't demonize a handful of evil men? Incompetence.

I will watch his funeral, and I will pay attention to how the pope selection process works, but mostly out of curiosity than direct effect. The new Pope won't give any more of a damn than the old one did, and until these people entrusted with our leadership start explaining themselves and actually leading, far be it from me to worry about their own personal safety.

Transparency.